When Postpartum isn’t at all what you expected it to be

Postpartum…holy cow…what can I say other than it was, and still sometimes is (2 years after my youngest was born), one of the hardest times of my life.  Now, let me just say…my kids are my world.  I live and breathe for them.  I have, and do, go to extreme lengths for them. I love them more than anything!  It’s safe to say that I am OBSESSED with them. I preface with all of this to say…is being a mom always love, happiness and bliss? NO! For me, and many women out there, this is especially true in the first few months of being a “new” mom.  

This beautiful baby is placed on your chest after birth and it is the best moment of your life! You never thought you could feel that much love and joy.  You want this so badly! You just grew this tiny human with your own body and birthed this amazing baby, and now, you don’t feel happiness and love 100% of your day every day?? Instead, you feel overwhelmed, stressed out and exhausted. This makes us feel like the worst mother in the world!! We wonder…what is wrong with me? Why do I feel this way?  We also feel ashamed when we have these feelings and think we should never speak a word of these feelings to anyone.  The most important part of this is to know…NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU, AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE.


Why is something that is supposed to be so natural to us so hard?  Breastfeeding is hard, not getting enough sleep is hard, learning to love our new postpartum body is hard, being responsible for a tiny human’s life all day everyday is HARD.  Not to mention, we go through and learn all of these new things and responsibilities while our bodies make a major hormonal shift, so there are tears!!! SO MANY TEARS!!!

A new mom needs as much nurturing, support and care in the postpartum period as her new baby does.  Being supported and loved-on as a mom should not end once the prenatal period ends.  This is why you need a village.  Our village is how we make it through the hard times.  Our village is how we know that sitting and doing nothing except breastfeeding for the first 6 weeks of your baby’s life is normal, nothing is wrong, its just a phase and it will pass.  Our village is, especially, how we know that not feeling joyful bliss in motherhood 100% of the time is not a rare feeling and it doesn’t mean we are bad moms or we don’t love our children.  Its ok to feel like this is hard…because it is!

Most importantly, in case you haven’t heard this today…YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOTHER AND YOU ARE DOING A PHENOMENAL JOB…even when it doesn’t feel like it!!